“When the music and dance create with accord…their magic captivates both the heart and the mind.” – Jean-Georges Noverre

Music inspires movement. Movement by oneself is free, seemingly without bounds. But movement, aka dance, involving a pair requires coordination – leading, following, advancing, retreating, planning for success, and planning for recovery.

Relationships are like dances, swelling and fading, forming life’s soundtrack. Like an expertly choreographed dance team wherein one member’s success hinges on the movements of another, the quality of our relationships is determined by the intentionality with which we lead, follow, advance, retreat, plan for success, and recovery plan.

Neither music nor dance is happenstance, despite emerging freestyle forms. There are underlying principles that, when violated, create chaos rather than harmony. Relationships follow similar guidelines.

Conflict in relationships arises when the dance steps of one person change from the anticipated routine. The music scratches to a halt and the partners stumble. In this way, relationships diverge from orchestrated musical pieces. They are rife with unexpected changes in tempo and key.

Knowing this, we must prepare ourselves to expect the unexpected. How do we do this? Read More

Spoiler alert: You’re not supposed to be happy all the time.

It’s ironically sad that the general population believes that we’re supposed to feel happy more than we do, and if we don’t – well, there must be something wrong with us, right?

Wrong.

Happiness is a feeling that’s supposed to come and go. 

Happiness is part of the song of our life, not the entirety, nor the purpose of it.

Let’s think about this in musical terms. A song builds. It goes through lows and lilts, changes in tempo and even key, but it never ends at its climax. Read More

Are you stuck in your ways or open to new ideas? If you’re feeling stuck in any area of your life, chances are you’re keeping yourself there.

To our detriment, many of us go through life trying to get new things, make progress, or achieve new levels of success by doing what we’ve always done. We get stuck in our old ways of thinking; not necessarily because we want to, but because the old is familiar. The new is unfamiliar and sometimes downright scary.

You’ve probably heard a person older than you say something like, “They just don’t make music like they used to anymore.” Such a statement carries the implication that they don’t appreciate newer music; probably because it’s unfamiliar to them. It’s easy to shut down the new when the old feels so much better.

But the truth is that if you want to grow, achieve, and move forward in life, you’re going to have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Doesn’t sound fair, does it? Well, you’ll have to decide what matters to you most. Do you want comfort or growth? Read More

Imagine if you arrived at the Kennedy Center to hear the NSO perform Beethoven’s No. 5 symphony, but to your surprise, only the violin section appeared on stage with all other instruments and their accompanying maestros completely absent. Imagine that you pulled up one of your favorite songs, “More Than Words” by Extreme, hit play, and heard only one member of the band singing, while the other with his masterful harmonies was suddenly gone. Or imagine singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” rounds alone.

None of it would work. And, honestly, all of it would sound awful.

That’s a lot like life…

without connection.

Humans are designed for connection, not isolation. We intend to create in partnership and cooperation. It’s how the greatest music works are etched in our hearts and minds. It’s what enables a call-and-response performance and what spurs a concert audience to sing along with flash-lit phones held high. Read More

Before the Show Starts

This article is the second of a series focusing on Musicians and Mental Health. This a partnership between CVSM and Thriving Thoughts Global.

Have you ever gone to a Taylor Swift concert thinking to yourself, “Wow, I wonder what all the critics are going to say about her performance, or I wonder what she will think about herself?” If you’re not a Swiftie, you might have thought that, but chances are you wouldn’t have gone to the concert either.

How about your own performance? Consider that recital, audition, presentation, or interview you’ve got coming up. Where’s your focus? What someone will think about you after it’s over?

If you’ve described yourself as having stage fright, chances are you’re concerned more about the outcome than the actual performance. And assuming you are a Swiftie, we bet you couldn’t care less about what her critics might say, or what even she might think about her performance. Instead, you would anticipate immersing yourself in the show, taking videos of her, and snapping selfies. Read More

Thoughts, Villains, and Superheroes

Everyone needs a hero. And today the one you need could be you!

Do you have a performance coming up? Or a special project that’s gotten your nerves into overdrive?

What kinds of things are you saying to yourself?

Are you being your superhero or your worst villain? Read More